Yearly Meeting Gathering 2009 York, 25 July to 1 August 2009. Community and Connexions Created.

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  • British Quakers agree to record and recognise same sex marriages

    Quakers in Britain today concluded a long and profound process of discernment about the way forward for Quaker marriage and approach to same sex partnerships.

    The minute recording the decision is as follows:

    Minute 25, Britain Yearly Meeting 31 July 2009

    Further to minute 17, a session was held on Tuesday afternoon at which speakers shared personal experiences of the celebration and recognition of their committed relationships. These Friends had felt upheld by their meetings in these relationships but regretted that whereas there was a clear, visible path to celebration and recognition for opposite sex couples, the options available for couples of the same sex were not clear and could vary widely between meetings. Friends who feel theirs to be an ordinary and private rather than an exotic and public relationship have had to be visible pioneers to get their relationship acknowledged and recorded.

    This open sharing of personal experience has moved us  and added to our clear sense that, 22 years after the prospect was first raised at Meeting for Sufferings we are being led to treat same sex committed relationships in the same way as opposite sex marriages, reaffirming our central insight that marriage is the Lord’s work and we are but witnesses. The question of legal recognition by the state is secondary.

    We therefore ask Meeting for Sufferings to take steps to put this leading into practice and to arrange for a draft revision of the relevant sections of Quaker faith and practice, so that same sex marriages can be prepared, celebrated, witnessed, recorded and reported to the state, as opposite sex marriages are. We also ask Meeting for Sufferings to engage with our governments to seek a change in the relevant laws so that same sex marriages notified in this way can be recognised as legally valid, without further process, in the same way as opposite sex marriages celebrated in our meetings. We will not at this time require our registering officers to act contrary to the law, but understand that the law does not preclude them from playing a central role in the celebration and recording of same sex marriages.

    We have heard dissenting voices during the threshing process which has led to us this decision, and we have been reminded of the need for tenderness to those who are not with us who will find this change difficult. We also need to remember, including in our revision of Quaker faith and practice, those Friends who live singly, whether or not by choice.

    We will need to explain our decision to other Christian bodies, other faith communities, and, indeed to other Yearly Meetings, and pray for a continuing loving dialogue, even with those who might disagree strongly with what we affirm as our discernment of God’s will for us at this time.

    Following the decision, Martin Ward, clerk of Quakers Yearly Meeting said: “This minute is the result of a long period of consultation and what we call “threshing” in our local meetings, culminating in two gathered sessions of our Yearly Meeting. At these sessions, according to practice, we heard ministry arising out of silent worship which led us to discern the will of God for the Religious Society and record it in this minute.”

    Quaker Jargon Buster

    Britain Yearly Meeting – the organisational body of Quakers in Britain

    Yearly Meeting in Session – the annual general meeting of the organisation, at which all members are entitled to attend – similar to the Church of England General Synod

    Meeting for Sufferings – the interim executive committee of the Yearly Meeting, empowered to act and take decisions in between Yearly Meetings, and also do detailed work in smaller sub-committees

    Clerk – the chairperson of a Quaker business meeting, who senses the will of the meeting and records that will in a minute.

    Ministry – Quaker meetings for worship and for decision making are based on silence, out of which spoken ministry is offered by participants as they feel moved to.

    Quaker faith and practice – the constitutional ‘governing document’ for Quakers in Britain containing procedures for such as Marriages and Funerals, the explanations of the organisation’s structure, and statements on faith.

    Other background information

    Quakers are known formally as The Religious Society of Friends.

    Quakers were given the right to conduct marriages in England and Wales in 1753, but case law before that recognised the validity of Quaker marriages.

    Quakers began to call for a sexual morality based on the worth of relationships in 1963 with the publication of ‘Towards a Quaker view of Sex’. Since then, Quakers have developed through tolerance to widespread acceptance of same sex partnerships, particularly since the formation of the now Quaker Lesbian and Gay Fellowship in 1973. Meeting for Sufferings minuted appreciation of gay and lesbian Quakers’ contribution in 1988.

    There was no formal stage of ‘recognising’ same sex partnerships nationally as Quaker procedures allowed it to happen: there was nothing against it. The first meetings for commitment were in 1996. Since then, around twenty local meetings have celebrated same sex relationships through an official meeting for commitment.

    Following the Civil Partnership Act of December 2005, same sex couples in England, Wales and Scotland, who share Quaker beliefs may opt for a blessing or commitment ceremony after entering a civil partnership.

    The Civil Partnership Act allows same sex partnerships to be registered as civil partnerships in law, but such registrations cannot take place in the context of religious worship. Civil partnership is not recognised as marriage, although registered civil partners share almost the same legal rights and responsibilities as heterosexual couples.

    The total number of civil partnerships formed in the UK since the Civil Partnership Act came in December 2005 is 26,787. (Office for National Statistics)

    More news from British Quakers at quaker.org.uk/news-releases

    Published on July 31, 2009 · Filed under: Blog; Tagged as:
    17 Comments

17 Responses to “British Quakers agree to record and recognise same sex marriages”

  1. William Heath’s blog » Blog Archive » Quakers afford sex marriages equal footing said on July 31st, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    [...] day at Yearly Meeting Gathering in York. Here’s the historic minute asking the key Quaker committee (known for historic reasons as Meeting for Sufferings) to arrange [...]

  2. Dan said on July 31st, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Well done everyone at YMG!

  3. Cas Bottomley said on July 31st, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Congratulations, BYM! I’m impressed but not surprised that you came to this wonderful conclusion.

  4. Sanji said on July 31st, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Well done! This is wonderful news!

  5. Em said on July 31st, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I am so pleased.for this news. I can but hope that it is echoed in other corners of our society

  6. rik panganiban said on July 31st, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    This is wonderful news. I’m sure it was a lengthy and sensitive process, so congrats to all those involved.

  7. bernard ratigan said on July 31st, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    This is an historic decision of Yearly Meeting and all Christians and others of good will are grateful to our friends in the Society of Friends.

    Other religious groups have much to learn from the Quakers especially those who have very negative attitudes to gay and lesbian people.

  8. Bishadi said on August 1st, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    In view of the ‘light of life’ it appears a diservice to the progression of life and the truth of, for the children has occurred.

    In all these years, it seems the guidance of life and the light that combines us all has been reduced to the politics of self, rather than the pursuit of life.

    In combining, life is given. To combine same colors, confusions ensues when the product has no color to see that is good.

    Life is what is important; not our own needs. Please be kind to the children, they need our guidance.

    Peace

  9. Britian Yearly Meeting – committed relationships (part 2) « Caddir’s Weblog said on August 1st, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    [...] Britian Yearly Meeting – committed relationships (part 2) Posted on August 1, 2009 by caddir Now that the minute has been accepted I can freely write about it.  The minute can be read here. [...]

  10. Richard Postles said on August 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Dear Friends

    I’m very troubled to hear yearly meeting has passed this minute allowing same sex marriage.

    As a Christian Quaker I believe it’s God’s will only a man and woman can and should marry. Same sex relationships I believe are against God’s will and therefore sinful.

    Unfortunately this is another example of how the religious society of Friends is being influenced not by the will of God, the inner light / Holy Spirit, but by activists who do not seem to be lead by God in their ministry but want to take the society away from its Christian roots and believes.

    I apologies for upsetting any Friends though I believe it is God’s will to stand up for Christian principles, just as Jesus stood up against the religious leaders of his day and George Fox did the same.

    The society should not be lead to accept modern sinful lifestyles and attitudes but should stand against them even if this stance is unpopular.

    I believe it’s God’s will that the society should accept homosexual Friends as we are an inclusive society but we should recognise that same sex relationships are sinful. If meetings only accepted Friends who don’t sin then there wouldn’t be any Friends!!

    In Friendship and Spirit

    Richard

  11. Piers Headley said on August 6th, 2009 at 12:49 am

    Can true love be sinfull?
    Is true love against Gods will?
    As a Christian Quaker who has lived with my partner for thirty years now you DO upset me, Richard.
    Please think of the children.
    To give each gay child the lesson that his/her nature is in some way sinful is perverse.
    Let us celebrate each manifestation of love as a gift and indeed proof of the light in us all!
    in peace,
    Piers Headley

  12. Tony Haynes said on August 13th, 2009 at 10:05 am

    As one who ‘fell out’ of the Christian charismatic church and ended up with the Quakers, I have struggled with this decision. Same sex marriage is definitively not Bible based. I cannot think that ol’ George would have approved, but Quakers have changed over the years. We are no longer Bible based. Instead we look to the Light that inspired the scriptures and supersedes the scriptures. We do not worship a book.

    However, I resolved sometime ago that I would abide by decisions made by Quakers as a gathered group in the Spirit. I cannot trust my own judgement alone.

    So, I accept this brave decision ans will defend it. I suspect that it will become part of the Quaker testimony to the world, just as the Peace Testimony has done.

    Now that I have reached senior years, I cannot believe that a God of Love and Light really cares what we do with each others’ bodies in the name of love. Prejudice is not of God. Yes,God is a Judge too, but I’m sure that judgement will about the harm that we have done to others, not about the love and commitment we have given them.

    Well done BYG. I am proud to have been a part of this ground-breaking decision.

    Tone

  13. Richard Postles said on August 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Dear Friends

    Replying to Piers’ comments, I do not intentionally mean to upset you or other gay Friends.

    However, I also can’t support same sex relationships for the reasons given in my comments. I do not believe this is my own judgement but the will of God.

    Replying to Tony’s comments. I left the church of england for various reasons. One of them being the bible led Christianity which is often preached. I believe Christians should follow the Holy Trinity – God, the father, son and holy spirit / inner light. As an aside, there is no mention of the bilbe in the holy trinity. Also I understand there are very few references to gay or same sex relationships in the bible anyway, only one or two and in fact these could even be open to interpreation. My believes I hope are not bible based.

    I think most Quakers have always seen the bible as a book written by men who hopefully wrote in the spirit of the inner light / holy spirit. I do not think Quakers have been led by the bible right from the founding of the society and I agree with this. We hope to communicate with God through the inner light in our meetings. I agree we should not worship a book. I disagree with you in that UK Quakers have not been bible based from the start.

    Consider this…If Quakers for over three hundred years ‘listened’ to the same God as we hope to ‘listen’ to now how or why has God’s will / opinion with regard to same sex marriages changed in the last forty or fifty years!! Is it a coincidence that the securlar opinion has changed at the same time!! I believe this decision is not led by God but by secular thinking.

    I believe Quakers should lead society not the other way around. Quakers should not have changed their opinions, as you state, as we should follow the same God who’s will I don’t think changes.

    I agree with you that this decision should be supported by Quakers. It puts me in a very difficult position. I doubt I will remain a Friend which upsets me a lot. However, I do believe marriage is sacred, a blessing from God and this decision is not that of God.

    I agree with you that I can’t trust my own judgement either. I disagree that God doesn’t care what we do with our bodies, as they are supposed to be temples of the inner light.

    In Friendship

    Richard

  14. Tony Haynes said on August 15th, 2009 at 12:29 am

    Dear Richard,

    You write “As an aside, there is no mention of the Bible in the holy trinity.” In fact I think you will find that there is no mention of the trinity in the Bible.

    Tony

  15. Richard Postles said on August 16th, 2009 at 8:32 am

    Dear Tony

    I find your last comment strange. Although I don’t read the bible that often I’m sure God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are mentioned in it.

    Anyway, you are getting off the thread.

    I’ve raised my concerns with a Friend at the meeting I attend and we will see the clerk. I very much hope I won’t have to leave the society but at the moment I can’t see any other way forward.

    We are all sinners and I believe welcomed by God into his church but when the society completely supports a sinful act I don’t believe God can accept that.

    In Friendship and Spirit

    Richard

  16. Tony Haynes said on August 18th, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Yes, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are mentioned in the Bible, but not as equals or as One.

    If you can’t bring yourself to abide by or respect a decision made by BYM, then perhaps you should not be a Quaker. It sounds harsh, but nevertheless, if you think your own interpretations (or prejudices) are more important than the decision of a gathered meeting seeking the Light, then really you have no place in the Quakers, because that process is our modus operandi.

    I say this in love and respect because I have been where you are. It was not a nice place to be.

    being Friendly

    Tone

  17. Tilmeeth said on August 27th, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    “Yes,God is a Judge too,” The Lord is the ONLY judge (tut-tut ;). 1 Samuel 16:7 and of course, the discourse on judgmentalism (Matt.7:1-6).

    . I am a bible reading, bible believing follower of Jesus who believes that BYM has not only made a brave decision that will incur distaste from conformist traditions, but has stuck its corporate neck out in a political sense to. Well done!

    Personally, I am against second-guessing what God does and doesn’t accept, and leave that up to God. After all, that is why God is God. Besides, who created homosexuality in the first place? Probably the same divinity that created androgynous bears and asexually reproducing fish!

    As an aside… the Holy Trinity is not mentioned in the good book, as Tony points out. God is, obviously, so is Jesus (the Son), and the holy spirit. Alas, they are talked of in a rather different way than many of our post-modern brethren seem to think…

 
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